


Girl Stuff and the Boys

by GatewayGirl



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, Crossdressing, Genderfuck, M/M, Other, Trans Character, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-04
Updated: 2011-08-04
Packaged: 2017-10-22 05:21:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/234290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GatewayGirl/pseuds/GatewayGirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hermione and Draco become head boy, and girl stuff happens!</p><p>This was written for <a href="http://www.livejournal.com/community/perposterice/4762.html">"Summeries"-based crack</a> first round, to match summary 116, <i>Hermione and Draco become head boy and girl stuff happens!</i> I'm fairly certain the original writer had left out a semicolon or period between "girl" and "stuff," but it's more fun with a comma before the "and!"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Girl Stuff and the Boys

**Author's Note:**

> See http://perposterice.livejournal.com/profile for more info on the structure and history of the fest. Extra thanks to Lore for last minute help and encouragement.
> 
>  **Canon Compatibility:** To OotP, except for the weird ffnet-fanon stuff about dormitories.  
>  **Warnings:** F2M!Hermione, plus everything in the tags.

Girl Stuff and the Boys

-or-

 _Why Punctuation Matters_

 

"But ... but ... Hermione!" Ron stared at his erstwhile girlfriend. "You couldn't really -- You're joking."

Harry pushed up his glasses by rubbing his eyes again. It wasn't that he thought he wasn't seeing correctly -- he was fairly certain that Hermione was now a _he_ \-- it was just that trying to bend his mind around the idea was giving him a headache.

"I'm not joking, Ron!" Hermione's "irritated" tone sounded a lot more serious now that it was an octave lower. Harry wondered if he'd ever dismissed something a girl had said because her voice was too shrill. "In seventeen years of being a girl, I've never managed to do it right! I don't have any girl friends, except for Ginny, who has six brothers, and acts almost like a boy herself. I'm tired of Parvati and Lavender and willful stupidity. I don't want anything to do with it!"

"Hermione?" Harry caught himself. He focused on his friend's distinct lack of breasts for a moment before looking up at the subtly changed face, and the cropped hair that, cut short, looked like a brown version of Percy's. "Um -- do you have a new name?

For a moment, she -- he -- almost looked like he remembered, just from the force of the pedantic expression. "Well, properly, the masculine form of my Christian name would be Hermes, but that seemed a bit pretentious. I considered Hermokrates, which means 'the power of Hermes,' but after some thought, I decided on 'Eugene,' which means 'well-born.'" Cheeks rounded, finally, over a disturbingly angular jaw-line, as the-Boy-Formerly-Known-as-Hermione smiled. "Because I _won't_ let them define me."

"Um ... Does McGonagall know?"

"Of course!" Hermi -- _Eugene,_ Harry corrected himself -- was still capable of looking indignant. After a brief moment, that insulted tightening of the lips changed to a curl almost of mischief. "As soon as I'd reached the final stages. I took the trouble to do the full, six-week, potion-enhanced change, however, as _that_ removed the option of telling me to change back."

"You're stuck like this?" Harry wished his voice wouldn't squeak in the middle of things like that.

Ron looked, if anything, more alarmed. "You're going to be in our _dormitory?"_

Eugene rolled his eyes. "Honestly! Yes, Harry, I _do_ intend to stay like this. However, I could reverse the change; it would just take six weeks -- after the four needed for the potions to work their way out of my system." He gave Ron a withering look. "And sadly, no -- I won't be in your dormitory. I'm going to be Head Boy. Well, one of the Head Boys."

Harry collapsed back on the bed and stared up at the ceiling. It seemed the only possible response. "One of?"

"They'd already chosen me as Head Girl, and since Malfoy's mother already knew -- through some leak on the Board of Governors -- that he'd been chosen Head Boy, they couldn't make me Head Boy and choose another Head Girl. And since my marks are better than Malfoy's, they couldn't pass me over. Thus, we have two Head Boys -- but I'm allowed to go in the girls' dormitories, if needed, as they know it's nothing I haven't seen before. I _am_ required to knock, first."

"You lucky sod!" Ron sighed. "And you won't even appreciate it! So, you'll be in Percy's old room? Can we study there? That was cushy."

"Er, no." Eugene reddened. "See, with the effort to decrease house tensions ... Well, the Head pupils no longer stay in their houses." He looked, for the first time, uncomfortable. "We'll have a suite across from the library entrance."

Harry sat bolt upright. "You'll be living with _Malfoy?"_

Eugene made a small cluck of disapproval. "Well ... we will have separate rooms, at least."

"Hermione," Ron said intently, ignoring Eugene's scowl at his use of the name. "You need to learn to talk."

"I don't believe I have spoken incorrectly."

"I don't believe I have spoken incorrectly," Ron mimicked. "You sound worse than my brother Percy. If you're going to be a man, you better learn to talk like one, or everyone will know you're a poof."

Harry wondered briefly if Eugene still liked boys. How did that work, exactly? He shrugged the thought off. "Maybe not. I mean, she -- he -- _will_ be near Malfoy."He and Ron both sniggered and Harry made his voice go girlish. "But my robes were splashed in Herbology! You can't expect me to attend class in _muddied robes,_ Professor."

Ron started to grab Eugene's arm, but pulled back at the last moment. "Can you get into his room?"

"You have to find out if he uses lipstick," Harry added eagerly. "We have a bet."

"I don't _believe_ you two!"

"See? There you go again. You need to lose that tone."

Eugene stamped his foot. Harry burst out laughing. "Okay," he managed. "You really _can't_ do that. Not if you want anyone to think of you as a bloke. It's completely girly."

"So what do you say, Hermione?" Ron insisted.

"Stop calling me that." To their friend's credit, Harry thought, there was no stomp, this time, no scolding tone, just the words, low and threatening, and a step forward.

"Excellent," he said, picking up an apple from Ron's bed table, throwing it up in the air, and catching it. "You're getting it."

"But the lipstick --" Ron insisted.

"Why the ..." Eugene struggled. "-- _hell_ would you care? And I can't believe he does."

"Oh, but he must." Harry reclined back and tossed the apple again. "No one has lips that sort of pink."

Eugene's face went very haughty. "Perhaps," he suggested, "you pay a _bit_ too much attention to Malfoy's lips."

 

Harry wasn't sure which bothered He-Who-Had-Been-Hermione more: that Ron never remembered to call him Eugene, or that Harry did so with unnatural frequency. Harry had the guilty thought that he might be having a little too much fun with this, especially considering the state of the rest of his life, not to mention the rest of Wizarding Britain, but when Eugene lowered his book and said fussily to Ron "is there some _reason_ why you do that?" he decided to take his fun where he could get it.

He swatted the side of Eugene's leg with the back of his hand. "Eugene. Look at me."

When the irritated stare was fully focused on him, but before he was questioned, he turned fully to his friend. "Say 'fuck.'"

"What?"

"We're going to work up to 'what the fuck was that for?' but let's try just the 'fuck' part, first."

"I am _not_ interested in emulating your bad language."

Ron, seated across from them, growled. "Fine. Then you're a girl."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

Harry nudged him. "He's right, mate. You don't have to do it all the time, but you need to be able to, right? Or no one will take you seriously."

"Stop humoring her, Harry."

Eugene glared. "Ronald?"

"Yes, _Hermione?"_ Ron's voice dripped with an innocence that would have impressed the twins.

"Shut the _fuck_ up."

Harry laughed. "Oh, brilliant!"

 

Returning to school was -- predictably -- odd. Eugene mostly got stares. Some of the Slytherins were openly mocking, but fewer than Harry would have expected. His answer to that came in Neville, who was meticulous about treating Hermione as another young man.

"Had an aunt who did that," he explained, when Harry asked, "in the other direction. It's not all that uncommon in the wizarding world, especially for the purpose of marriage, or continuing the family name. There are same-sex couples too, of course -- Ernie jokes about his uncles all the time in Advanced Herbology -- but someone like my grandmother would consider it less scandalous for one of them to change." He paused and blushed. "Er ... assuming the other was properly inclined."

In Gryffindor, Lavender had elevated her nose and declared that it was really _just_ as well, but Parvati had been furious and shouted at Eugene about caving in. "You just can't handle being a girl!" she yelled, and Eugene had replied, with a cold, precise nod, "Exactly."

At the end of breakfast on Saturday, Harry considered Eugene's stressed, pale face, made transparent excuses to Ron, who seemed relieved to accept them, and led Eugene off on a walk around the lake. He paused at the beach where Sirius had almost lost his soul, feeling both saddened and strengthened by the memory. Sitting down on a rock, Harry glanced over at the still-jarring lines of Eugene's body and face, before turning his gaze to the water. "How's it going?"

"Okay, I suppose."

They both sounded terribly casual. Harry shrugged, just for luck. "I worry about you with Malfoy."

Eugene snorted. "Why? He can't hurt me and get away with it. We're directly under Dumbledore, now."

"Eugene, listen! I'm _certain_ he's a Death Eater."

"He's not --"

"Have you ever seen him with his arms bare?"

"No." Eugene sounded disdainful. "He stays in his room. I think he's afraid I'll contaminate him."

"Yet you wonder why I'm worried."

"Look, I'm not saying he doesn't hate me, but I think you think too much of him --"

"Too much? I think he's absolute scum --"

"You think he's bold enough and disciplined enough to do real damage -- and he's not. Even if he was, why hurt me? I'm not strategically important enough to risk his position for."

Harry gritted his teeth. "I want some way for you to contact me."

"That's --" Eugene caught himself. "Would you do this with Ron?"

"If he was stuck with Malfoy? Hell, yes!"

"Well, then." When Harry turned to look, Eugene was thinking, chewing at his lower lip. "The DA galleon. If you have it, I can modify them so I can activate just yours."

After casting the charm and handing back the modified token, Eugene remained facing Harry. "You know, this acting like a boy business -- I've been watching, and I still don't think it makes sense. Ernie doesn't swear, and Neville hardly does, and I couldn't come _close_ to the way that Justin talks...."

"Yeah, but they have the advantage of having been born boys. You don't." Harry picked up a stone and tossed it into the water, sending expanding circles out across the water. "You have to do it _better,_ or they're always going to think of you as 'the girl with a prick.'" Harry wasn't sure what he wanted here. For Eugene to give up and give him Hermione back, maybe. If he couldn't have that, though, he wanted to protect her -- as him -- as much as he could.

 

To Harry's relief, Eugene continued to spend most evenings in the library, occasionally coming back to the Gryffindor common room after the library closed. He admitted that he found it hard to endure Malfoy pretending he was alone in their shared study. The evening came, however, when Harry could not find him.

"Don't know why you're fretting," Ron said sulkily, when Harry finally dug the Marauder's Map out of his trunk. "She wants to be a bloke; she can take care of herself."

"Shit!"

"What?" Ron's indifference fell away in a minute. "What?"

"She's in Malfoy's _room._ " Harry stared at the labels: _Draco Malfoy_ and _Hermione Granger._ He wondered how the map chose which name to use -- one's legal name, probably, considering the matter of Barty Crouch, Jr.. At least these two labels weren't overlapping, but neither one was moving.

"What!"

"We better get down there. Come on."

 

Eugene answered the door. "What's wrong?"

Harry evaluated his changed friend. He looked flushed and anxious, but more concerned than afraid.

"I couldn't find you." Harry didn't show the map, although Malfoy was not in evidence. "I thought something might have happened."

"You _always_ think something has happened." Eugene shrugged. "I just decided to stay in, that was all."

"And Malfoy?"

"Decided to be decent about it." Eugene's mouth twisted down. "Get back to Gryffindor, now, or I'll have to take points."

Harry left unsatisfied.

 

For the third night in a week, Harry found himself staring at the labels _Draco Malfoy_ and _Hermione Granger_ in Malfoy's dormitory. They were close together, this time, facing each other, with the labels sometimes overlapping. He scowled. After several minutes of frowning thought, he threw on his invisibility cloak and set out for the kitchens.

"Dobby?"

The elf gazed worshipfully at Harry. "Yes, Harry Potter?"

Harry tried to look beneficent, rather than overwhelmed. "I'm worried about Eugene -- Granger, I mean." Dobby continued to look at him blankly. "Used to be Hermione?"

Dobby perked up. "Dobby cleans rooms for Master Granger and Master Malfoy, sir!"

"Right." "Eugene" was a problem, but "Master" wasn't. Harry didn't think he'd ever understand house elves. "Well, do you know if Malfoy is treating her -- him -- decently?"

"Oh!" Dobby's voice squeaked. "Well, they was having fights, Harry, sir."

 _Was,_ Harry noted. "And then?"

"And then they found a game to play with his clothes, sir!" Dobby beamed. "And now, they is happy, sir, playing with Master Malfoy's clothes."

 _Playing with Master Malfoy's clothes._ Harry couldn't get the phrase out of his head. From a house elf, that could really mean _anything_ \-- they could have been hurling shoes at each other. However much he tried to picture that, he instead found himself picturing Hermione undressing Malfoy, or wrapped up in one of Malfoy's shirts. It was on the second time through this vision that he realized he was picturing _Hermione,_ with breasts and no hint of a cock beneath small knickers. Correcting that part didn't help. His blood boiled every time he imagined those familiar hands undoing the buttons at Malfoy's collar.

 

Now that Harry desperately wanted to talk to him, Eugene didn't seem to return to the Gryffindor common room at all. It was two nights later, just after dinner, that Harry managed to catch him in the library.

"How's life with Malfoy?" He tried to make the query normal, but it came out tense.

Eugene shrugged, but the little smile behind it was pure Hermione -- Hermione happy, and trying to contain herself. "Not so bad. He's relaxed a bit."

 _I'll bet._ Harry felt a hot flash of anger at the memory of the two labels overlapping at their forward edges. "How does he kiss?"

"What?" Eugene stared at him, eyes furrowed as if Harry had said something incomprehensible, but Harry could see the guilt in his stance.

"How does he _kiss?_ Malfoy? Does he consider it bestiality? I can see him being into kink."

Eugene hit him. He really had a pretty good punch, Harry decided, for someone who'd been raised as a girl -- good enough that Harry felt entitled to punch him back.

They were both thrown out of the library. Eugene promptly opened the door to the Head Boys' suite and slammed it shut behind him; Harry made the climb up to Gryffindor tower and got his cloak. He waited for an hour in the corridor outside Eugene's door, with no opportunity to enter. He would have given up if it wasn't for the Marauders Map, which showed him that Malfoy wasn't in the suite. He'd need to come back, sooner or later, and with luck, wouldn't be too quick with the door.

 

It really was laughable easy, when it happened. Malfoy had just opened the door when Blaise Zabini called to him from the library entrance, and they talked for several minutes. All Harry had to do was slip inside the room without brushing against Malfoy, who was so _very_ close, while Malfoy stood there, graceful and faintly scented, his cultured, disdainful voice trading vaguely malicious witticisms with Zabini.

Harry stepped in with a light tread, careful of the edges of the cloak. Hermione would suss him out from errors others might not notice.

"Draco?"

Harry had just reached the couch, and relative security of a place where no one would bump into him, when Eugene's half-familiar voice called out the name from his room.

"Is it urgent?" Malfoy called back. "I'm having a pleasant conversation." Harry could just see the smirk he sent at Eugene. "With one of my own kind."

Eugene entered the room with a derisive snort. "I don't believe there _is_ any such thing. Hello, Zabini."

Zabini looked like someone had burned hair under his nose. "Are you certain you wouldn't _rather_ join me?" he asked Malfoy.

"Really, Blaise. Duty calls." Malfoy stepped inside, and with no further goodbyes that Harry could hear, shut the door. To Harry's surprise, he then turned and leaned against it, his head falling back in vulnerable relief.

"Long day?" Eugene asked wryly.

"You wouldn't believe! One of the fifth years was running some sort of con, claiming he had preliminary O.W.L.s...." Malfoy let out a hissing breath. "Anything up before lights-out rounds, or can I just set the charm on the door?"

"Go ahead." Eugene moved forward with an impressively masculine swagger. "You got a package, today. Or rather, Hermione did."

Harry could see the change in Malfoy's body, as limp release turned to active lounging. "Oh, really?"

Eugene smirked. "I think you'll look quite lovely."

Malfoy licked his lips. "You're a pervert."

Harry's mind immediately filled with vague images of anything Eugene might have ordered under his old name. Was he going to handcuff Malfoy? Malfoy probably would look lovely chained to a bed, and preferably gagged, or maybe with his mouth full by other means.

"Good thing for you, isn't it?"

Harry ground his teeth.

"Wait here." Eugene went back into his room, emerging a minute later with an armful of fabric. He flipped it out of its bundle and held it up, vaguely in front of his own body, displaying gauzy, multi-layered robes in soft turquoise and blue, which grew more transparent closer to the floor. "There. Won't it look lovely with your pale gold and pink?"

Harry expected Malfoy to snarl in response, but the blond boy was biting his lips and stepping forward. "Yeah," he breathed. "Er, thank you?"

"No problem." Eugene grinned at him. "Call me in when you're ready?"

"Couldn't finish without you." With a coy wink, Malfoy reached out and took the diaphanous garment, and then carried it off to his room. Eugene leaned back against the wall and waited. Harry tried not to growl.

In very little time, a voice drifted out of the half-open door. "I'm ready for you."

Harry barely restrained himself from snarling. How dare Hermione -- no, Eugene -- wait, Malfoy.... Hell. He didn't even know what they were _doing._ Eugene had to be fucking him, though, didn't he? When Harry finally pulled himself together sufficiently to follow silently, Eugene was already in the doorway, but fortunately, he left the door wide open as he continued in. Harry walked cautiously over to peer inside.

Malfoy was wearing the lady's robes, and kneeling backwards on a chair. The robes were pushed down in back; Harry could see a deep curve of pale skin. He watched Eugene's wand trail lazily up it.

"You don't need anything here. Your skin is perfect." Eugene sat down in a second chair and leaned back. "Let me see your legs."

With the most ridiculously girly laugh Harry had ever heard -- not, under the circumstances, that that was surprising -- Malfoy squirmed around and sat to lift one long, white leg and lay the calf across Eugene's black robes. Eugene trailed a hand up it, ink-stained fingers ghosting over the pale curves of the exposed calf.

"Mm. Could be smoother." He followed fingers with his wand, and then gave a slap to the back of the thigh. Harry started forward, nearly giving away his presence. "Other one."

Malfoy dragged his toes across Eugene's black school robes, causing them to gap open over grey trousers. "Sure." He smiled dazzlingly at Eugene as he laid a second flawless leg across that lap. "Thank you for your help."

Eugene laughed. "Actually, you wouldn't believe how much more fun this is when it's someone else's body."

 _What is?_ Harry wondered. He wanted to be closer. Cautiously, he stole into the room and moved behind the bed, aware that the bulk of it would help hide any slight gaps that he might cause in the cloak. Malfoy had leaned his head back and his eyes, focused forward, were closed to mere slits. Harry wondered when Hermi-- Eugene was going to fuck her-- him. Shouldn't his hand slide further up, under that tousled mound of sea foam gossamer? But no -- the wand followed again. This time, Harry was close enough to see short, light strands tumble from its path. It took him a moment longer to deduce that Eugene was using a _depilatory_ charm on _Malfoy's legs._

"Now your chest, Draco. This dress needs it."

The robes were in two layers. The inner one, which held up the skirts, was already fastened across Malfoy's waist. The outer one was undone. Harry found his breath catching as Malfoy pulled the sections down and apart, showing a flat, white chest and small pink nipples. Harry couldn't see any hair from his vantage point two yards away, but Eugene set a wand to the skin, then leaned forward to blow away a cloud of fluff less substantial than thistle down. Harry almost expected his tongue to flick out to touch it. How could he not?

"You're such a good girl, Draco. Much better than I ever was."

Malfoy laughed shakily. "You're going to do tits, aren't you?"

"With that neckline? Of course."

Harry bit his lip to hold back a whimper. Eugene, in what Harry had come to think of as "Hermione mode," continued. "Don't worry. I found the perfect charm. It will make the area a little more sensitive, but that's probably accurate."

Malfoy let out his breath with a hiss. "Circe, Gene! You have no idea how sensitive my nipples are anyway."

"Well, this will just expand that to the surrounding area." Biting his lip in concentration, Eugene set his wand to one pink nipple, releasing his mouth long enough to mutter an incantation. The flesh beneath the tip began to swell up and outwards. Malfoy's mouth opened as he let out soft, panting breaths. It took a flash of pleasure for Harry to realize that he was pushing into the side of the mattress and rock hard. Embarrassed, he drew away from the contact and closed his eyes. When he opened them again, Malfoy had small breasts of white and pink.

"How do they feel?"

Malfoy brought a finger to experimentally tweak one nipple, but Eugene caught the hand and pushed it over and down. "No, prat. Like this." He curved Malfoy's fingers around the soft mound. "Squeeze. Gently, at first. See how much you like." He laughed slightly. "This part, I know about."

Harry did not push back against the mattress when Malfoy set about touching his new breast as he'd been told. Instead, he dropped his hand to his groin, and began to squeeze his cock through robes and trousers, timing each motion to match that of Malfoy's hand. He heard his breath come out in a shaky rush, but the others seemed not to have noticed. Malfoy's foot was dragging across Eugene's lap as his knee bent. Harry wondered if it was pulling across Eugene's cock.

"So?" Eugene sounded a bit breathless too.

"Yeah. Good."

"All right. Let's get this fastened."

"Don't you want to touch? Or would it make things too queer?"

Harry bit back a laugh. He didn't see that _anything_ could make this more queer, but Eugene was efficiently buttoning the front of Malfoy's robes. They parted in a V below his waist, like the front of a renaissance lady's gown, cerulean skirts giving way to turquoise ones.

"I haven't decided about that yet." Eugene stood restlessly.

"It doesn't have anything to do with being a man, you know. It's not necessary that you like it."

Eugene shrugged, but one of his hands hovered hesitantly before descending to comb once through Malfoy's sun-gold hair. "I think I might. I'm not sure it has anything to do with _you,_ though."

Malfoy frowned. For a moment, he looked almost familiar. "Are your Gryffindor friends treating you decently?"

Harry was taken by surprise. Didn't they always? His hand stopped moving.

"Mostly." Eugene moved back around him. "Let's do your face."

"Mostly?"

 _Mostly?_

"Harry asked me how you kissed."

Harry bit his lip hard. _Stay still!_ he ordered himself.

"He _what?"_

"That was _my_ reaction. Well, no, actually, I hit him. He _has_ to have been spying on us."

"But we've never kissed!"

Harry was surprised. If Eugene wasn't shagging Malfoy, what was she doing here?

"Well, not spying directly." Eugene touched the table next to them, and it opened, exposing rows of cosmetics and raising up a curved length like the neck of a swan which sent out a soft, white light. "He has a way to tell where people are."

"As long as he doesn't see this." Malfoy let out a loud breath, and then stilled as Eugene began to stroke a pearlescent lotion across his brow. "He'd make sure everyone knew. Probably send that prat Creevy to take photographs."

 _I would not!_ Harry thought indignantly, but Eugene wasn't defending him.

"He's obsessed with you, you know." Eugene picked up a tube of lipstick and held it up between them. "He already wonders if you wear this."

Malfoy hesitated. "Only if I'm having a truly miserable week." He kept his face still, but his eyes moved nervously to Hermione. "Can you _tell?"_

"Not really. I think he just likes your lips and can't admit it."

Malfoy smiled. "Maybe you should find out."

Eugene lifted a brush from a little tray. "Find out what?"

"How I kiss. You could answer." Malfoy's voice was wicked.

"Oh." The tip of a tongue flicked across Eugene's upper lip. Harry struggled to keep his breathing quiet. He really, he thought, his hand descending again of its own accord, should _not_ be watching this.

"But let's finish, first."

"Um, yeah."

Eugene finished with the lotion, and then touched it here and there with a charm that spread out blended pink. Once he was satisfied with that, he got out some eyeliner. "Look down and hold still."

"Explain to me again how you're no good at this?" Malfoy's voice was wry, but he did, indeed, hold still for the fine brush that was lining his eyes in grey.

"I'm not particularly good at it on myself. On someone else, I can see what I'm doing." Eugene leaned back to survey Malfoy, then brought out a tray of blue powders.

"Still...."

Eugene shrugged. "I just didn't find it worth it, honestly. I'm not that interested in being pretty."

"But you'll do this for me."

Eugene smirked. "That's _you_ being pretty. You look like a storybook princess when I'm done. I just looked like a girl who was hiding from her face." He frowned. "Besides, you _like_ it more than I do." He stroked a soft, dark blue across one of Malfoy's eyelids. "Pity I can't show you off. What do you do afterwards?"

Malfoy laughed. "Wank."

That, Harry thought, was an entirely appropriate response.

"Well." Malfoy stood up and sashayed across the room, the robes swaying with every roll of his hips. Harry could see the lines of his legs clearly through the gauzy fabric. Malfoy had more leg than was decent, possibly even before he had strapped on those silver stiletto heels. He turned at the far wall and posed. "So what do you think? Am I gorgeous?"

Eugene was leaning forward, his chin on one fist -- a Hermione pose. "Stunning, Draco."

Malfoy walked back, more slowly. "So ... want that kiss, now?"

 _Yes,_ Harry thought fiercely. Though he was certain that earlier he would have exploded with fury if they kissed, now he desperately wanted to see it.

"Do you want to kiss me?"

 _He's offered, Hermione! Just do it._

Malfoy smirked, pink lips curling delicately at the edges. He reached out one manicured hand to stroke down Eugene's cheek. "I want you to tell Potter about it."

Harry choked.

Malfoy and Eugene froze.

It was Eugene who moved first, whirling on an area some five feet away from Harry's actual position. "Harry, you fucking _bastard,_ you show yourself NOW!"

Malfoy, on the other hand, had started to shake, and was slowly backing up. From the way edges showed around the pink areas of his cheeks, Harry got the impression he'd gone white as a ghost beneath the cosmetics and charms. "He's going to --"

"I won't _let_ him! _Now,_ Harry."

 

Harry checked that his trousers were done, and stepped out from behind the bed and shrugged his cloak off. "Sorry." He knew he must be as crimson as Draco was white. "I just meant -- I was afraid he was --"

"And _that_ wouldn't be any of your business either!"

Malfoy's face tightened. "Enjoy the show, Potter?"

A surge of defiance made Harry raise his head and look Malfoy in the eye. "Yeah."

Malfoy stepped forward, passing Eugene with a gesture to stay back. Harry watched his hand, on guard to a motion toward his wand before realizing the gauzy robes could hardly be hiding it. A quick glance showed it lying on the bed, on top of Malfoy's usual robes. He relaxed slightly, still staying ready, and let Malfoy come right up to him. He'd grown a bit over the summer, but they were still about of a height, with Malfoy in heels.

"I want your silence, Potter. I know you _can_ keep a secret. What does it cost?"

"From you?"

Malfoy ground his teeth. "From me, yes."

Harry felt his cock twitch. _Pushing you down on that bed and fucking you should do it._ He looked hesitantly at Eugene. Hermione wouldn't take that well, and he doubted changing sexes would change Eugene's opinion of sex by extortion. Not to mention he had only the vaguest idea how that might work. Still, it _was_ what he wanted. He lightened it as much as he could.

"How about that kiss? Since it seemed to be about me, anyway?" Malfoy jerked back. Whatever he had expected, that clearly wasn't it. Harry stepped forward. "And think." He ran a hand down Malfoy's powdered cheek, as Malfoy had to Eugene's naked one. "It would give me incentive not to tell."

Malfoy nodded tightly and lifted his face. Harry stretched forward and kissed him. His lips were soft. Harry kept kissing him. From the soft moan that trembled around his lips, Malfoy didn't seem to mind. On the other hand, maybe he was just making his payment good. Harry pulled him closer, so their bodies touched as well. Malfoy gasped, and for a moment Harry was terrified he'd gone too far and given Malfoy too much of an advantage -- certainly the Slytherin must be able to feel the hard length of his erection -- but Malfoy, rather than taunting him about his arousal, began to grind against him. Harry doubted that was just fulfilling his end of the bargain.

"Fuck." The word came out of Eugene's mouth naturally. Harry looked up and winked. Trembling, he took the gauze skirts in his fists and began to lift them, exposing more of Malfoy's denuded legs. He kept his eyes on Eugene as he did it, watching his friend's eyes widen. Harry broke off the kiss, squeezing the body in his arms when it tensed, and speaking over his shoulder to Eugene.

"You think he's hot, don't you?" He worked more of the gauze into a crumpled mass above his hands, baring thigh. Adjusting his grip, he freed a hand to reach down and touch that exposed skin. Malfoy moaned. Eugene licked his lips.

"He's staring at your legs, Malfoy," Harry whispered, sliding his hand up. Malfoy wouldn't have got rid of his cock, would he? He seemed turned on, but Harry couldn't feel it against him. Shouldn't he be able to? "Wants to see arse, I think."

Malfoy gave a ragged laugh. "And you're just obliging, Potter? How considerate of you."

Harry rubbed into him. "Oh, I think I'm obliging all of us." He reached the juncture of Malfoy's thighs, and was relieved to find cock there -- thick with arousal, and doubled back in a way that made Harry wince inwardly. Malfoy let out a high, wordless cry when he touched it. "Take the knickers off."

"Not yet."

Harry shivered and touched more. That had to hurt, but Malfoy didn't seem to mind. "Isn't this better than wanking?"

"Fuck, yes." Malfoy's eyes closed, showing blue and silver eyeshadow. "You, both of you, anything."

Eugene was close, now; Harry felt fingers brush below his own. Malfoy moaned.

"Want to keep the robes on, though."

"Oh, of course." Eugene bent close to kiss at the juncture of Malfoy's neck and shoulder. Harry was overwhelmed by the scent of him. He looked up, and for a moment they stared at each other in mutual panic. Slowly, Eugene shifted forward. Harry did the same, meeting his mouth over Malfoy's shoulder.

He-Who-Used-to-Be-Hermione had lips less soft than Malfoy's, but an eager, strong kiss that Harry found himself returning in kind. It was Malfoy's turn to let out a whispered curse as he twisted his neck to watch them. Eugene laughed raggedly when he finally pulled away.

"Harry." His voice was uncertain.

"Friends," Harry said quickly. "Right? You trust me?"

"Odd as this may seem, considering that you snuck in here to _spy_ on me, yes. I do." One of his hands moved past Malfoy and stroked down his arse. "Even for this." He gripped briefly, and let go. Harry was embarrassed to hear himself whimper.

"Like this better than watching, don't you?"

Harry caught a wistful tone in Malfoy's taunt. _You like being watched, don't you?_ He bent to suck quickly at the spot Eugene had kissed, then stepped back, out of reach of both of them. "Like both."

"You're beautiful, Draco."

Harry smiled. "Yeah. You are. Show off for me. Elegant lady, tart, whatever. Want to see you stroll."

With a natural-looking flick of his wrists, and a teasing twist of his hips, Draco settled the robes back into place. The gossamer layers stilled showed the lines of his long legs, but they were covered down the ankle straps of his stilettos, and the sleeveless top, gathered at wide straps, showed his small, unnatural breasts to good advantage. He walked across the room, bringing to mind stray bits of poetry Harry had always laughed at, with comparisons of a gently swaying walk to reeds or willows moving in a summer breeze. He thought he got it now.

Malfoy turned and settled in the center of a loveseat, spreading out his skirts in a soft pool of color. "Well?"

Harry sucked at his lower lip. Eugene moved behind him, settling hands on his hips. "Tell him how beautiful he is."

Harry nodded and took a shaky breath. Malfoy's beauty was a bit more intimidating when it was too far away to seize. "I think you must be the most gorgeous person I've ever seen. Sexier than any natural girl."

Malfoy looked politely incredulous. "What about the French Veela?"

"Fleur? I was never that into her." Behind him, Eugene snorted slightly, and whispered something about that being rather suspicious. Harry glanced back. "The full Veelas got me; she never did." He thought this might amuse He-Who-Used-To-Be-Hermione, but could hardly be sexy to Malfoy. He returned his full attention to the vision on the sofa, who was, indeed, pouting alluringly.

"Would you lift those skirts a little?" He licked his lips as Eugene's hold tightened. "Show me your sexy legs."

The pout turned to a coy smile as Malfoy worked the skirts up slowly to a teasing height, so that the puffy mound of gauze left the area between his thighs in dark shadow. Harry stepped forward. Eugene followed, stopping closer than he had been, his body tangibly warm, but still not in direct contact.

"The knickers? Now?" At any other time, Harry might have been embarrassed by the high tension in his voice, but he could see, now, how it was making Malfoy pant with lust.

Changing a shiver to a deliberate undulation of his hips, Malfoy worked lace knickers off and down, until had them dangled on one toe. He kicked them to the side, and without being asked, pulled the skirts up further, until the last bit was pushed to a very obvious peak by his released erection. Harry whined.

"Christ, Malfoy, please may I touch?"

A coy arch of a brow and a soft laugh. "Please do."

Harry stumbled awkwardly across the room and to the floor at Malfoy's feet. He found himself pulling down those skirts just for the pleasure of sliding his hands up under them, touching where he could not see. That was all very well, but in a minute, they were up even further, piled behind Malfoy's hard cock.

Malfoy's hand ghosted across his hair, much as Harry's had stroked tentatively up his cock. "All Gryffindors are perverts?"

"Gryffindors are bold about it," Eugene corrected, settling at Malfoy's other foot. He glanced at Harry. "Watch."

As Harry watched, his mouth descended to Malfoy's cock. Harry watched his tongue lick up it, and his lips closed on the tip, pushing down further once, twice, three times before he lifted his head.

"No, don't _stop!"_

Eugene's eyes remained locked on Harry's. "Dare you."

Harry nodded. After a shaky breath, he leaned forward, licking a little bit longer before his lips closed on the very tip, shifting the foreskin down the head before moving past ridge of it. Fingers tightened in his hair. He had a moment of panic at how full his mouth felt with only that and jerked back.

"Easy." Eugene's voice was soothing. "You don't have to take it deeper. Look." He wrapped his hand around Malfoy's cock and went back to sucking the head. Pausing to a whimper from Malfoy, he changed his grip. "See? Fewer fingers if you want more. If you limit it, he can push as much as he wants."

Harry wondered if girls' dormitories were full of helpful tips like this. Nodding, he tried again. In addition to Malfoy's fingers in his hair, he felt another touch lower, fumbling at the fastenings to his trousers, then working under the elastic on his pants. He heard a pant from Eugene as he finally reached his cock, and his own breath moaned out around Malfoy's. Malfoy was beginning to thrust up when he suddenly tugged at Harry's hair and stopped, squirming back and pushing his head away as if repulsed.

"Wha--"

"Too close. Not...."

Harry grasped the meaning immediately. He didn't want to come yet? Well, that was all right. He stood, letting his opened trousers fall and parting his school robes to display his erection. "So what about you, Malfoy? You'd look pretty on your knees, with those skirts all spread around you, and your tits showing when you leaned forward...."

That was enough. Malfoy tumbled eagerly off the couch, and a moment later was as Harry had suggested, Harry's cock in his mouth -- a lot deeper than Harry had managed on his -- and his nipples, indeed, showing behind the forward drape of his top.

"You're both...." Eugene stopped there, apparently unable, for once, to think of a word. He crawled forward to work a hand under Malfoy's skirts. He was shaking. Harry felt a bit neglectful.

"Take off your trousers."

"Me?"

"Right." Harry grinned. "The one with trousers on. I want you pushing up against her -- um, him. Sorry, Malfoy."

Laughter bubbled around his cock, and Malfoy had to stop to gasp for air. "Not like it's _confusing,_ or anything," he said airily.

"Right. Here I am with a man who used to be my best girl friend, and another who's grown tits and put on a dress." Harry dropped briefly to kiss them both, but Malfoy pushed him impatiently back, until he took the vacated place on the sofa.

"Liked your last suggestion, Potter."

After that, it was a muddle of feeling and watching, drowned in a musk of male lust and feminine perfume. Whatever Eugene was doing wasn't sex as Harry would have thought of it -- he didn't seem to be going in, anywhere, but it definitely got him off. When Harry had tumbled down from his own silent orgasm and off the couch to turn the tables, Malfoy's thighs were dripping with Eugene's come. Harry paused to lick at it before taking Malfoy's cock in his mouth again, deeper, but not for long.

 

They lay in a muddle on the wool carpet, in various stages of undress, and various stages of regaining breath. It was Malfoy, despite having come last, who spoke first.

"Your friend is better company than I expected," he said. Harry had no idea how someone who was still glowing from orgasm could manage that breezy tone. "We should have him over more often."

"Mm." Eugene's breathing was back to normal by now. "What do you say, Harry? Would you like to spend some time with my pretty girl?"

Harry wrapped an arm around Malfoy and half-hid his face in his hair. Of course he would! "Hardly seems fair to Ron."

"No," Malfoy snapped. The others both laughed. Harry squeezed him reassuringly.

"Note to self," Eugene said pedantically, sounding just like Hermione, if dropped an octave. "Arrange replacement girlfriend for Ron."


End file.
